What do you do?
My real title is Option Bringer. Clients that seek counseling often feel that there are little to no options in what they are struggling with. My role is to show them that there are options. I accomplish this by connecting. Connection is the key! My approach emphasizes creating a safe nonjudgmental space that allows clients to process their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I enjoy giving clients homework in the form of worksheets that they can utilize to gain insight, knowledge and perspective. These are ?tools? that can provide clients success if they utilize them. All of this can provide hope and a way forward even in the most difficult of circumstances.
How do your life experiences contribute to your counseling style?
Helen Keller once said, ?Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.? My life and all its mountain tops and valleys are a reflection of this quote. Listing my ?credentials? in life doesn?t seem enough. We all have our trials and moments of great stress and grief that shape our life. I have endured and been blessed by my own. From the pain of addiction to the loss of my sister to suicide, those things were not easy to overcome. But God?s grace showed me I can. His strength was what I needed to stand and find my way out of the darkness.
This road of growth and change also wasn?t without error. Mistakes, yes, there were a few. But I learned from them. Through it all, including my years in graduate school and this journey of counseling, I have had a couple of constants that have kept me going. First, is my relation with Jesus Christ. He has guided me through all the twists and turns of my life. He has never left my side or walked away, even when I detoured from Him. Whatever success I have in this field I owe to Him. I can?t do this without His direction and His wisdom. Then there is my wife LeeAnn. She has validated and affirmed me like no one else. She helped me believe that I can go from being pessimistic to optimistic. I am driven to be the best I can be due to her never-ending patient love for me. So game on! I am in this game, an active participant, and I look forward to helping you elevate your game.
What do you specialize?
I work predominantly with adults 18 and up. Within that age group, I work and support clients in the following areas:
Blended Family issues.
Foster Parent issues
Depression and Anxiety
Domestic Violence, both victim and perpetrator
How do you approach therapy?
Everything in the client/counselor relationship starts with rapport. This is a strength I believe I have. As I mentioned earlier, having connection with the client is a cornerstone to success. Being consistent and showing up as myself. Showing up as authentic and fully present is something I strive for in every session. I don?t try to be someone I?m not.
Clients benefit when they see that they can be authentic. They don?t have to pretend they have it all together. They can be themselves around me. As trust increases, clients often start to peal back the different layers of their life. That?s when the real work begins. Lastly, as a Christian, whatever skill sets I have I rely on Him for guidance. So prayer is something that if clients ask for it, I offer it to them. Prayer is vital to what success I have and prayer is an effective weapon against the difficulties that all of us go through.
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For the millions of Americans who are living with an addiction, learning how to cope with the stress and pressure of getting sober can be overwhelming. Relapses are common, and they can bring a weight of guilt with them, which can in turn lead to more substance abuse. It?s a very difficult cycle to break, but it?s important to figure out the best ways to get healthy in every way–mind, body, and soul–so that you can get back on track without sacrificing everything you?ve worked so hard for.
Fortunately, there are several things you can do to help things fall into place after a relapse. From opening up communication with your family members to practicing meditation and learning how to relax, taking care of yourself is the first priority. Whether that means ridding yourself of guilt and shame or simply learning how to cope with stress, finding out what works for you will help you break the cycle for good.
Keep reading for some great tips on how to feel better and get healthy after a relapse.
Ask for help
It can be very challenging and humbling to ask for help, especially if you?ve already done it once before, but suffering a relapse is nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to many individuals who have made a commitment to turn their lives around, and it?s not an indication of failure. The key is to recognize the issue and ask for help as soon as possible so that you may begin rebuilding. Find a counselor, therapist, or group session you can join, or talk to your sponsor or a close family member or friend.
Stress is a major contributing factor to many relapses, so it?s imperative to learn how to cope with those feelings and reduce them. This might mean learning how to say no, finding a way to reduce your task load at work, or working on family issues.
Think about the things that bring you the most stress and how you can effectively make your life easier. In the meantime, you can practice meditation and/or yoga to help break down those feelings. This has long been a benefit for those who are struggling with stress and anxiety. Make sure you have a quiet space to relax in that is free of distractions. You can find out more about creating a meditation space here.
The way you handle your relapse is extremely important. If you feel guilt or shame, it will be nearly impossible for you to move on and make healthy choices, so it?s important to learn how to handle those emotions and how to forgive yourself. This may require the help of a therapist, or you might talk to your friends and family about your struggle. Sometimes, simply being open and honest about what we?re going through is the best way to move on.
Adjust your strategy
It?s always possible to make changes to the way you approach your sobriety, and it?s important to do so if you feel it isn?t working. You might take a look at the people you spend the most time with. Are they supportive? Are there people in your life who abuse drugs or alcohol when you?re around? It can be difficult to make major changes, especially when it comes to your relationships, but it?s critical to make your own health a priority.
Coping with addiction relapse is never easy, and it often takes time to get to the place you want to be in. Try to be patient with yourself during this time, and think hard about the way any changes you make to your lifestyle will affect you down the road. With a good plan, you can get your life back on track.
Constance Ray started Recoverywell.org with the goal of creating a safe place for people to share how addiction has affected them, whether they are combating it themselves or watching someone they care about work to overcome it. The goal is to share stories of hope from survivors who know that the fight against addiction is one worth having, because no matter how it affects you, life can get better.